Idlebones

Internet Access

Last night I stayed at one of those perfect examples of a family run
hotel. When I asked for a room with internet access they sent me up to
room 166 “specially”. when i got there, and couldn’t find a network
port, i rang backdown to reception to ask about it….

“Yes, we do have internet access in the rooms. It’s in reception”
“Sorry?”

“It’s in reception. It’s nice and comfortable down here”
“But you told me you had internet access in your rooms??”
“We do, it’s in reception”.
She’s saying all of this with what sounds like a broad, forced smile.
The kind an airhostess might have when she’s sure the planes about to
crash.
“So your saying you have internet access in your rooms, in reception?”
“Thats right sir, in reception” she beams.
I had to pause for thought for a moment.
“So, if i were in reception right now, I would have internet access….”
“Yes sir.Complimentary!”
“….in my room?
“Yes sir”
“What if I pretend to be in the reception? would that work? Would i
have internet access in my room then?”
“Am…..I’m….” The smile is faltering.
“What i mean is; If to have internet access in my room requires me to
be in the reception area, I am assuming that my room therefore only
has internet access whenever I’m not actually in it. So I was
thinking. If I quickly run downstairs and make myself available, then
suruptiously sneak out a back exit somewhere, shinny up that drainpipe
by my 3rd floor window and climb back in my room (I’m sure the
corridor would be covered by the internet, so I couldn’t risk going
that way, could I?) do you think I would have internet access in my
room then?”
“But you wouldn’t be in reception sir?”
“No, I’d be in my room. Correct. So would I have internet access then?”
“Yes Sir, internet access is available in reception” .The beaming
smile is back with full headlights.
“Really?! Wait a minute…….Is reception in my room??”
She gives a little nervous giggle “Oh no sir, reception is downstairs!”
“Of course, silly me. But my room is in reception then?”
“Em….no sir”
“But I have internet access in my room only when I’m in reception?”
“Yes sir!”
“But I have no internet access while I’m IN my room?”
“Thats correct sir!”
“Therefore, to have internet access in my room, I and my room must be
in reception at the same time?”
“ermmm……(a long pause ensues)…I’m just going to get the manager
Mr Ball. Could you hold?”
“No problem. Can I stay in my room on hold, or must I come to reception?”

Internet Access