November 11, 2006 – 0:07
Jessie is here again, the back of her blonde head facing my admiring gaze. She sits, crossed legged, reading the paper, gingerly tipping her ciggarette ash into the small ceramic ashtray I’ve placed before her. I’ve tipped her hair, and kissed her brow, and returned to the hob as I make scrambled eggs for her. She breathes out soft tendrils of smoke as she turns a page. I watch her, wanting to hold her, as I always do these mornings. I watch as her slim shin rocks against the calf of her other leg. A flat thin Pump, tiny, I could hold it’s volume in my hand, beating to the rythym of some song that’s singing, silently, in her head. I stand here most mornings, watching her slender frame relax into our kitchen table. She sometimes releases her hair from its pony tail, letting it unfold and spread, sweeping delicate fingers over her smooth shoulders. I am sometimes jealous, ridiculous as it may seem, of her hair.
I sit before her, placing a plate of scrambled egg on hot buttered toast before her, and watch her eat. She is delicate, even in her tired state. Not even one buttered crumb remains on her lips as she idly places the fork to her mouth, over and over again, until she has eaten her fill. Her breakfast finished, she smiles at me, placing her finished fork neatly on the plate. “Thank you sweetie” she says, before rising. She leans in to me, slowly, as if she wants to savour the moment, and presses her lips to my forehead.
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